The Virgin Mary
by JustCallMeDollface
Summary: I have a problem. I have never been kissed. I have never even flirted successfully , held a guy’s hand, etc, all of the above. I’m pathetic. The Virgin Mary was a slut compared to me! LJ Read and review!


_Disclaimer: No, I am not J.K. Rowling and this is not my material no matter how hard I pray at night. _

The Virgin Mary

I have a problem. I have never been kissed. I have never even flirted (successfully), held a guy's hand, etc, all of the above. You name it; I haven't done it or even been close to doing so. I'm pathetic. The Virgin Mary was a slut compared to me. Just because she was a virgin doesn't mean Joseph never kissed her. He wasn't that much of a saint. Oh, God. I'm worse than the bloody Virgin Mary! She was even younger than I am too! Kill me now, please, have mercy.

ARGGHH! I'm going crazy. I'm tired of being like this! I have way too many pent up hormones and frustration. It doesn't help much either that I've started to notice how very, very, good-looking James Potter is. That smile should be illegal. I can't stop thinking about him either. I'm head girl for God's sake. I should be setting a good example, but noooo. I can barely concentrate in my classes anymore because all I can think about is how much I want to have sex with James Potter!

There, I've finally said it. Yes, I want to do Potter. Preferably on a bed but I wouldn't object to a broom closet either. Maybe I'm not worse than the Virgin Mary, cos I'm pretty sure she didn't have thoughts like mine. It keeps getting worse too. He asked me a question today about God knows what; because I was too busy gawking at his mouth to answer. (He really does have a nice mouth though. Ugh. Stop it!) Alice thankfully swooped in and saved me, answering his question while leading me out of the room. She looked like a cat that had swallowed a canary for the rest of the day too.

She hasn't said anything yet. But I know the second she gets me alone she's going to explode. So, naturally, like the coward I am, I'm hiding. In a broom closet. All alone, with my very bad and inappropriate thoughts. It's getting late but Alice might be waiting up to pounce. I could just sleep here…. Okay I need to stop being such a coward. I'm going back to the dormitory and I'm going to face Alice. I'll tell her everything too.

I stood up and opened the door, still stretching.

And then we'll come up with a plan. Alice is good at that. Next time I see James, I'm going tell him how I feel. Hmm, or maybe I should just snog him first.

My eyes were still adjusting to the light when I knocked into something very solid and vanilla-musky smelling. Mhmmm, wait. Shit. I know that smell-

"Sorry, didn't see you there Lils," James apologized.

Okay, apparently I offended God by saying that I was worse than the Virgin Mary, because why else would this happen to me now, of all days. I hate my life.

"Wait, what were you doing in a broom closet," he asked mystified, peering around me.

"Uh, ummm….." Good question. Why was I in there? I couldn't seem to remember. He really did smell good. Just like the Ammortia we made last year, when he announced to the entire class that his potion smelled exactly like me and came over to demonstrate but was happily hexed by Alice for me. Alice! That's why I was in there.

"Alice. I-I was avoiding Alice," I stammered out.

"Oh, err, why?" He smiled down at me beautifully taking my breath away. I gaped at him, staring at his mouth, remembering the incident earlier.

"Your mouth" I mumbled. Oh Shit. Tell me I did not just say that. Shit, shit, shit.

"Err, sorry? My mouth?"

"Uh, I meant, ummmm…" I grimaced at him, "Oh look at how late it is. I really must go. Bye!" I fled down the corridor leaving a very confused James in my wake. So much for not being a coward.

I rushed up the stairs to where thankfully, Alice was asleep and collapsed on my bed. I tried to sleep, but of course I could only think about his damn mouth. I'll never say anything bad about the Virgin Mary again.

_A/N: Okay, so the end sucks but I didn't want to be too cliché. Oh and i hope i didn't offend anyone with the Virgin Mary stuff. It's all in good fun. Anyways, let me know what you think . Review! _


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